So after a day screwing with this and an hour on the live chat with hostgator, I think I got it working
Activating ssl on a hostgator account creates a static ip address (free for business accounts)
update cloudflare with new ip address
Setting up the shared cert:
http://support.hostgator.com/articles/ssl-certificates/ssl-setup-use/how-to-set-up-and-use-your-shared-ssl